For Friends of the Bereaved
When a close friend loses a loved one, many people want to be their to offer support during this difficult time. Assisting with the funeral arrangements is one such way that people try to help their friends who are mourning a loss. By doing so, their friend is able to focus on directing their energy towards mourning and comforting other family members.
However, after the funeral service ends, many friends go back to their day-to-day life. In the days after a funeral service, people slowly return their routines and don’t think to offer continued support to their friends. What many fail to realize is that even though the service has ended, the grief their friend is experiencing does not subside right away.
This is actually the time that people need the most support, as they are transitioning into a new life without their loved one. Many people experiencing grief may be hesitant to express this and be reluctant to ask for help. If you care about your friend and want to be there to show support, it’s important to maintain a presence and let them know you’ll be there whenever they need you.
To help ensure you can offer your friend the support they need, we’ve compiled 5 tips for helping someone that is mourning.
Start the Conversation
As we mentioned earlier, it is important to have a presence when a friend is experiencing a loss. This can be accomplished by being the one to start the conversation in the days after the service. Reach out to your friend to check in on them and see how they are doing. Even if it’s just a brief conversation, you’re letting them know you're still here to help them.
Continue To Check In With Them
While many people will be there to offer support prior to the service and immediately after, eventually this support begins to fade. It’s important to check in though as the first year after a loss can be quite difficult. Make sure to make note of the important dates like birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays so that you can be there for the days that may be quite difficult in that first year.
Say Less, Listen More
Sometimes just being there to listen is all a person needs. Make sure that when you do talk with your friend, you let them have the opportunity to speak and lead the conversation. While it might not be easy, being able to vent to someone and express how you’re feeling is helpful to people that are grieving. Let your friend know that whenever they are ready to talk, you’ll be there to listen.
Share Memories
Sharing memories will not only provide you with something to talk about, it can be beneficial to those that are mourning. Reflecting over the positive experiences you shared with someone will allow the bereaved to remember the good times they had with that person and feel a connection to them. If you didn’t know the deceased that well, ask your friend questions about them and encourage them to share stories with you.
Offer Your Help
When a friend is grieving, they often hear things like “if there’s anything you need” or “let me know how I can help”. While the intention behind these lines is positive, they are also quite vague and require the bereaved to seek out your help. Instead, we recommend that you take action and offer specific things you can do to make your friends life easier. A few examples of things you could do include offering to pick their kids up from school for the next couple weeks, drop by with a casserole or dinner you’ve prepared for them, and offer to take them to their next appointment. Anything you can do, no matter how big or small will be helpful for your friend during this difficult time.
Contact Us To Learn More
If you have any more questions about helping a friend who is experiencing a loss, please feel free to contact us. Our staff would be happy to answer any questions you may have and direct to additional resources.
